Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
