Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Please don't give away my fajitas
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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