isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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