No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
