I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
