This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
birth control should be required to get into college
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize