Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
