My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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