Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
im holly from the hills drunk
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
