As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
