my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
In America we eat man semen.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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