Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
