I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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