Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I need a beard to bite.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
