I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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