It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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