i already hear my dad disowning me
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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