I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
