remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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