we made out on top of his cat.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
