How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
