In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
