just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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