Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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