I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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