I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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