wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
