I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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