You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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