508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
