She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
