I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
