I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
