Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
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He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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