I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
