ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
