We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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