hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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