And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
