Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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