idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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