just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
