You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
That reminds me...we need to get swords
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
