hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
