Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
