yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
