the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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