Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Michael Bay diarrhea
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
