ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
