plz talk dirty to me
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
