To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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