id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
