I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize