He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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