i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
