very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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