Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
