We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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