So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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