"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think people are normalizing furries
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize