took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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