I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
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