they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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