My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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