You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
